


garden of eden

by dontstraytoofar



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Love, and they own me and they're soulmates and thats the tea on that, eleanor is small and tahani is a goddess she's weak for, hmm i love these two
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-01-04 02:16:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12159561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontstraytoofar/pseuds/dontstraytoofar
Summary: “She’s an amazon goddess Chidi. Like, the other day she came up behind me and reached for a cup from the top shelf and her hair smelt like sunshine and apples. Who the fork smells like that? I think I literally somehow got more bisexual”Or the one where Eleanor kind of likes Tahani’s tallness and their height difference, she just didn’t know it would in turn make her fall harder for the other woman and simultaneously make an absolute fool of herself.





	1. aristotle told me to

**Author's Note:**

> oh i kind of love this show and them? keep in mind im only on s1 ep 7 lmao so this is taking place before stuff i dont know occurs. 
> 
> enjoy! comments are a blessing and ill give you all hugs in return gdhfjsdk <3

The first time it happened, Eleanor having stars in her eyes from Tahani’s tallness, she can say she initially hated her reaction.

Because it’s so _dumb_ and cliché that she loves how when they walk together, Tahani’s hand brushes against her ribcage from her height. Or how sometimes, like today, Tahani wears flats and Eleanor, if she tried, wouldn’t have to go on her tippy toes to kiss her.

And how with the whole _‘booping my nose and patting my head from her vantage point’_ thing that Tahani always seemed to do, was actually kind of, well, nice.

It became endearing, like a thing they had. And having a ‘thing’ with someone that’s innocent and cute and kind of sweet is so _new_ to Eleanor that at first, she thinks it’s just a dumb crush that’ll dissipate in three days and she’ll go back to pretending she deserves to be in heaven with a literal chestnut haired angel.

But then Tahani will place her hand on Eleanor’s bicep as they talk, smiling and giving Eleanor her undivided attention. Her eyes reflect the sun; deep and brown and melting into pools of gold on the edges and Eleanor finds herself stuttering. Lost and falling deeper and ever deeper for the woman across from her.

 “Eleanor? Did you hear me?”

The blonde woman shakes her head, blinking slightly and frowning at her thoughts. “Sorry, what was that?”  
  
And Tahani smiles, unbothered, and pulls her hand back. Eleanor feels like the sun went behind a cloud. “I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me?” Tahani smiles hopefully, and Eleanor kind of melts at how cute she is.

 “I was hoping we could enjoy a picnic by the lake, I made fresh scones and hazelnut muffins. Do you like hazelnut?”

_I like your eyes. Is that close enough?_

But Eleanor nods, acting like the idea of having lunch with the other woman and it just being _them_ is totally one hundred percent okay and she’s _not_ internally combusting. “Pfft. Of course, who _doesn’t_ love nuts?”

Eleanor winces at her words; and Tahani snorts as she links their arms and walks in the direction of the lake. Her smile is brighter than the sun, making the blonde woman’s heart beat thud against her chest at how effortlessly _beautiful_ the other woman is.

Is this what it’s like to find your soulmate? Like, your body and mind just feeling so _right?_

(Eleanor’s been allergic to hazelnuts since she was three, but when they make it to the lake and Tahani asks Janet for a perfect picnic set up, passing Eleanor a muffin with the most warmest smile, she can’t help but smile back and take it. Hopefully in heaven they make exceptions to deadly baked goods)

 

 

 -

 

 

 “How did you die?”

The question comes out of nowhere, and effectively snaps Eleanor out of her staring contest with the sky.

Her head is comfortably resting on Tahani’s lap as they pointed out shapes of clouds; at one point the brunette started running her fingers through Eleanor’s hair. So casually, it was as if they’d been doing it for years. It made Eleanor close her eyes, somewhere between pointing to one that was super phallic and laughing about “Oh my god. It looks like a duck”

(Then she frowned. Trying to say it again. “Duck. Duck. Oh my forking god why can’t I say duck?” Which make Tahani fall into giggles that the blonde is sure she could listen to for hours)

Eleanor thinks about the shopping carts, she’s so glad she got hit by a truck.

 “I got ploughed down by shopping carts” Tahani’s hand stills, a small and shocked “Oh gosh” leaving her lips. Eleanor opens her eyes and sees a slight smile to the taller woman’s lips as she smiles back.

 “It’s okay, it’s funny I know. I _then_ got hit by a truck, which was what effectively killed me. All because of a ‘martini for one’ kit. Sad right?”

Tahani chuckles, and Eleanor likes how it feels against the back of her head. “Melancholic, sweetheart. Simply melancholic”

Eleanor smiles, feeling her actual soul (or what she thinks is?) calm at the other woman’s voice, her accent – how it vibrates to Eleanor’s chest and makes its home.

The suddenly, Tahani stands up, making Eleanor frown at how her head falls to the picnic blanket as the taller woman stares down at her with a smile - her hand outstretched to take and a grin in place. The blonde woman pouts, rubbing the back of her head from where she thunked it on the ground.

 “Come on, I want to show you something”

 “Coulda warned me about dropping my head on the ground” Eleanor grumbles as she takes the other woman’s hand.

Tahani pulls her up, and _oh fork,_ suddenly Eleanor is gasping at how they both pulled too hard. Overcompensating the amount of strength needed.

 “Oh shi-“

Eleanor stumbles into Tahani, blushing as the other woman simply laughs as she balances their bodies, holding to the blonde woman’s arms as she speaks. And they’re so _close,_ Eleanor can smell her hair again; it smells like lemongrass and stars.

 “Shoot. Sorry” She blushes, looking up to Tahani as they share the same air. And Eleanor falls for how Tahani feels, how she looks down to the other woman from their position with a warm smile and a blush of her own colouring her cheeks.

 “Quite alright”

Her voice is slightly breathless, and Eleanor can practically feel her heart escaping her chest while listening to Tahani’s voice. Dying again in the good place isn’t possible, right?

 “Oh, uh…right. I’m showing you something, aren’t I?”

Eleanor blinks out of it, nodding and pulling back with a smile. Tahani bites her lip like she felt it too.

(She took them to feed the ducks, feet swinging and grazing the water from where they sat on the small wooden dock, tucked away from others. Tahani gasped as ducklings swam over and ate the seeds they threw, nudging Eleanor with an excited smile and the blonde woman falls for how she’s like, a giant puppy. Sophisticated, intimidating, kind, tall, but a _literal_ puppy. Like a Great Dane puppy. Or something)

Regardless, Eleanor falls for everything _Tahani._

 

-

 

 

 

 “Ducks Chidi! _Ducks._ We went on a weird sort-of date and fed ducks and she made me muffins. Did I mention she leant down and kissed me on the cheek when we said goodbye? Because she did. That’s a thing that happened”

Eleanor lays with her head dangling from the couch, upside down as her legs drape over the back of it watching as Chidi snorts and stands near the chalk board. Tapping a pen to his lip as he watches the scene in front of him.

Oh she’s _so_ in deep. It’s written all over her face.

Chidi smiles, shaking his head.

 “Aristotle once said: “Educating the mind without educating the heart, is no education at all’” 

Eleanor frowns, but from the position, all Chidi can see is her eyebrows doing a weird upside down dance. “What the heck does that have to do with this? I’m bisexual and I’m having a panic attack about my potential-“ Eleanor closes her eyes, hit with the thought. “P-Potential gorgeous, tall, Amazonian soulmate. Help a girl out here”

Chidi rolls his eyes, turning to his board as he taps under a familiar heading that says “ _Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment”_

“What I’m _saying_ is; sure, you _know_ her. You maybe think she’s your soulmate and you know she prefers jam over marmalade or that she was raised in England and born in Pakistan but-“ Chidi then underlines _knowing yourself_ with chalk and turns back to a frowning Eleanor.

 “But have you educated _your_ mind and heart like Aristotle said? Do you know what you want? And do you know _her_ mind and heart, have you educated yourself on what it’s like to be in love?” Chidi paces in front of the board, Eleanor’s eyes softening as he continues on, passionate and smiling as the words all flow together.

 “Oh I’m _sure_ educating yourself on love you have to like, _be_ in love but what I’m saying is-“  
  
Eleanor sits up, righting herself and smiling as she leans her elbows on her knees. “You’re saying go get the sexy British princess and hopefully don’t fork it up? Got it”

Before Chidi can say something like “ _Close but not close enough”_ Eleanor’s already out the door, slamming it shut as Chidi nods to himself, pressing his lips together. “Good talk”

 

 

 

-

 

 

It was all going smoothly up until Tahani made them tea.

 “Oh! Let me grab that for you darling”

Eleanor was struggling to reach up and grab a cup, probably fine china or a cup made from literal gold, when she felt Tahani press up against her from behind, reaching around and grabbing a mug. Her breath was soft against Eleanor’s ear, body warm and breasts lightly pushing into her spine.

The smaller woman softly gasped, turning around and nearly choking when she realized how close they were. Fronts now touching and Tahani’s arm still in the cupboard, her other hand resting softly at Eleanor’s hip bone.

Tahani smiles, like she didn’t know the affect she had on the other woman. “English breakfast or Earl Grey?”

Eleanor blinks, biting her lip. “Huh?”

The taller woman chuckles, taking the cup out of the cupboard and smiling. “The type of tea?”

 “Oh! Uh, whatever your drinking”

Tahani winks, Eleanor hears the cup clink softly to the table as the taller woman puts it down. “English breakfast it is then”

And before Tahani can turn around to set the kettle on boil, Eleanor is grabbing softly to her waist; enough to catch her attention and turn back around. “W-Wait. I-“

 “Ah gosh you don’t like tea, do you? Coffee then? I’m sure I can whip up-“

 “No I, I just. Want to say something. To you.” Eleanor gets lost in her eyes a moment; opening her mouth. “How do you have like, the most beautiful eyes? It’s distracting”

Tahani blushes, shyly looking down as Eleanor closes her own eyes and smiles slightly embarrassed. “God I suck at this”

The other woman then smiles, she tucks a stray piece of hair that fell from behind Eleanor’s ear back in place, fondly saying; “No, it’s quite sweet actually”

 “Really?”

And then, and Eleanor’s not quite sure on the details because she’s 99% sure she blacked out, she sees _stars._ Because Tahani chuckles, leans in, leaving the softest of kisses against her lips. And she feels like clouds and warmth and silk and everything _good_ in the universe that Eleanor can’t remember if she’s _in_ heaven or only just got transported there. As with the way Tahani kisses her, it feels like she’s only just learning what happiness feels like.

(And it feels good. Happiness is a nice feeling)

She remembers to kiss back, so shocked that she couldn’t even think straight, and melts into the kiss. Letting her hands cup the taller woman just below her jawline, making her smile against Eleanor’s lips.

They pull back, and Eleanor opens her eyes – blinking away the haze.

 “Holy fork”

 “Yeah…wow”

 “Did that- did that just happen? Or am I lucid dreaming. I’m in sleep paralysis aren’t I?”

Tahani laughs, kisses her again, and Eleanor pulls back quickly after only a moment to talk again. “Your lips taste like honey. Or spring. I can’t decide on which-“

“Darling do you ever shut up?” 

Eleanor frowns, and Tahani laughs when she simply says after a beat of silence: “Kiss me and find out?”

Having a soulmate is cool Eleanor thinks, having someone like this is pretty amazing. Tahani feels a little bit like home; like wherever she went; Eleanor would be happy.

(And as Tahani kisses her again, smiling against her lips, Eleanor’s back hitting the bench behind her; the good place isn’t a _place_ anymore to Eleanor. It’s a person. And she’s _beautiful)_

 

-


	2. groundhog day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda wanted to do a rewrite of their memory wipe except ya know, eleanor and tahani being soulmates bc they are and thats the FACTS hfsjak 
> 
> anyways enjoy! tell me if yall think i should continue this :)

-

 

 

 “You’re a good person, right, Tahani? Like, you wouldn’t ever do anything to betray me?”

 _Eleanor_ , she came to learn was her soulmates name, holds to her hands desperately as they sit on the leather couch; clowns on the wall staring them down as Tahani blinks once, then again, her mouth open agape.

She’s not _shocked_ per say of who her soulmate is, or their gender, or their height (the short blonde woman is delightfully cute Tahani admits) but it’s more the unsettling feeling that rests in her stomach at the other woman’s touch.

Did they know each other previously? Did Tahani meet her when she was alive? Why does Eleanor Shellstrop feel so familiar?

Instead of voicing her thoughts, Tahani squeezes back to the hands in hers. Reassuringly rubbing her thumb against her soulmates hand and smiling.

 “Of course. I’d never dream of it”

Eleanor lets a breath of air out, slumping in her seat in relief. “Oh thank fork. Because I’m not meant to be here. At _all”_

(And Tahani’s world crumbles at the edges slightly, her eyes widen that slight amount, and Eleanor sheepishly smiles back; their hands still clasped)

 

 

 

-

 

 

 “So you’re...you’re _not_ Eleanor Shellstrop?”

Tahani paces, a hand at her forehead as she stresses her words. Eleanor stands up, arms folded, and although Tahani has no idea what’s happening, or even where to start, she can’t help but think Eleanor; even with all her annoying quirks and mannerisms she learnt about in the past ten minutes knowing her, the blonde woman makes her worried mind slow down. Like for the first time in Tahani’s life she doesn’t have to prove herself to someone, she’s just _herself_. And the other woman just accepts that. Also, with the way Eleanor places her hands on Tahani’s shoulders in reassurance, Tahani feels like she can be who she is; and not be judged.

It’s nice.

 “Okay first, you sexy Amazonian,” For some reason, the words ignite a spark of familiarity in Tahani’s mind as she blushes. “Yes I _am_ Eleanor Shellstrop; but I think they nabbed the wrong one. Last time I checked I am _not_ a-“ She squints to a diploma hanging on her wall, snorting. “Specialized and ten year running, qualified Neurologist.”

Tahani sighs, her shoulders slumping. And Eleanor pulls her hands back to fold them on her chest.

 “So…what _were_ you back on earth? A woman as beautiful as yourself must have been in modelling to, oh, maybe save dying children? Cancer foundation?”

Eleanor smiles, bumping her fist into Tahani’s shoulder making her frown. “Aw shucks, thanks soulmate, you flirt.” Then the blonde woman sighs, sitting back down on the lounge. “But nope. No life saving Victoria’s Secret model here. Just, grade A asshole Eleanor”

Tahani’s eyes soften, and she sits next to the other woman, hand on her thigh with a smile. Eleanor can’t get over how kind she is; how she radiates this warmth that feels so _familiar_ that it sends her reeling.

 “Hey now, I’m sure you were wonderful back on earth Eleanor,” The blonde woman kinda loves how her name sounds on Tahani’s lips. “I mean not as wonderful as me of course…”

And for the first time in a while, Eleanor smiles from the kindness of another person and how Tahani’s cheeky joking smile makes Eleanor feel okay again. She lets her head rest on the taller woman’s shoulder, sighing, closing her eyes as the other woman wraps her arm around her waist – so natural, it’s as if they’ve done it before.

 “Thanks gorgeous. I feel like we’ve met before, have we?”

And Tahani chuckles, she doesn’t know what they’re going to do, or if it even means Eleanor’s her soulmate if she’s not meant to be here, but it feels right with how they just _fit._ “I can’t help but think we did. Curious, isn’t it?”

Eleanor frowns, this feeling in her chest that seems off. “Yeah. Curious”

 

 

 

-

 

 

Eleanor wakes up to Janet cheerily exclaiming “Hi!” at three in the morning.

 “Shirt! Jesus Janet”

Eleanor has her hand resting on her chest, breathing heavily at being knocked out of rem sleep as Janet simply smiles, blinking at her outburst.

Eleanor glances at the now waking figure to her right, Tahani mumbling as she slips her eye mask onto her forehead; hair and bangs adorably sticking up. “What on earth?” Tahani notices Janet, smiling still, and lets a surprised scream out as she covers her body with sheets.

Then she notices Eleanor sitting up on her elbows. “Wait when did we fall asleep here?”

The blonde woman frowns, coming up blank. She can remember Scrabble and laughter and like, a tonne of wine. “I _think_ you carried me, but I could be wrong.”

Tahani frowns, then she notices the three empty wine bottles on the floor, and blushes as Eleanor addresses the other figure still standing over them. She honestly wonders if the afterlife is supposed to be this… _weird._

 “It’s like the middle of the night, Janet. What’s going on?”

Janet puts her hands behind her back, smiling with her dimples as she looks to Eleanor.

 “I don’t have a concept of time as I don’t sleep. Actually, time doesn’t exist. Here! I think this is for you”

She thrusts her hand out, a piece of paper folded neatly in her grasp. Eleanor frowns, taking it as Tahani leans closer over her shoulder; breath warm on the blonde woman’s cheek. She doesn’t mind, actually, she kind of likes it.

She reads out the note that’s in _her hand writing,_ and confusedly furrows her brow. “Eleanor, find Chidi”

Tahani looks perplexed to the note in her hands, letting her chin rest comfortably on Eleanor’s shoulder. “ _Chidi?_ Is that a type of soup?”

Eleanor lights up, chuckling lightly as she turns her head slightly to the other woman. “Hey! That’s what I thought. Oh you’re _definitely_ my soulmate”

Janet blinks away with a smile into thin air, and even though the Good Place feels a little off, like it’s titling on it’s axis – she has Eleanor. Tahani has a feeling she’ll be okay.

 

-


	3. the mandela effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hey. anyone else LOVE these two. cause i do.
> 
> (this is a take on what would happen if suddenly, eleanor remembered every regeneration. then i made it gay. cause ? i love tahani and her what else hfsdj)

- 

When she figures it out this time, Tahani’s holding Eleanor so softly, so fully, that Eleanor’s not sure where Tahani begins and where she herself ends. The taller woman is tucking a stray piece of hair behind Eleanor’s ear, and she’s asking if she needs anything. If, before they go, Eleanor wants something of her.

 _You,_ Eleanor thinks, _god I need you._

But that’s never been how Eleanor has worked, she’s never worn her heart on her sleeve and she’s never admitted to loving someone this much. Maybe that should change, maybe Tahani will be the person _to_ change that.

Michael clicks his fingers, Eleanor was halfway through saying “I love you” before her body is sucked into thin air, to be regenerated.

(In that last split second, a mere thousandth of a second, she saw a tear fall down Tahani’s cheek. It glistened in the light, it made Eleanor’s heart hurt. Maybe she _should_ start wearing her heart on her sleeve, maybe she should let Tahani hold it once and a while)

 

 

-

 

 

Tahani is her soulmate thousands of times.

When it reaches #2056, there must have been a glitch in the already forked up system; because suddenly Eleanor’s hit with memories like a freight train. It’s flashes of moments, of soulmates, of millions of memories and events spread out like a timeline in her mind.

She remembers the first, the second, stuffing the note into Janet’s mouth, she remembers #218, she remembers #567 when Tahani kissed her on the train to the Neutral Zone.

(She did that twenty two times apparently, had a burst of courage as they drove into the unknown. Mindy told her, on the #345 regeneration, that Tahani was always the instigator of their first kiss. The knowledge of that makes Eleanor’s heart warm)

  _“Everytime you come here, sometimes with Chidi, sometimes not, you’d look at Tahani with these sad puppy dog eyes, like you were waiting for something but too fucking scared to do anything about it.” Mindy’s bored tone has Eleanor furrowing her brow as the other woman sifts through a magazine._

_“Now, did you finally bring me some coke?”_

Flashing back to the present, Eleanor sits down on the couch, sighing as this ‘glitch’ ends and the memories cease so her head stops pounding. Her soulmate, a golden retriever, pants happily next to her with its tongue out. Eleanor runs a hand through her hair, drumming her fingers on her knee.

She wonders if the whole soulmate thing is a joke, it has to be right? Isn’t the _idea_ of having a soulmate special? Not something overdone and overused to the point that even though Eleanor can now remember all 2056 variations, they don’t feel meaningful.

 “I still got you, right?”

The dog looks back at her, blinking once, barking and wagging its tail.

(One thing Eleanor admits though, is that through them all, it was Tahani who was _there,_ even when she wasn’t her soulmate. She was, and is, meaningful and true and warm. Like through all of them, Tahani was the one who felt the most real)

With that thought, Eleanor’s out the door before she can blink. Running towards Tahani’s mansion, her name on her lips.

 

 

-

 

 

 “This is the bad place we’re on attempt like 2000 and soulmates are forking dumb”

 “Good evening to you too Eleanor?”

Tahani’s confused faced blinks back at an out of breath Eleanor, she’s bending over, hands on her knees as the taller woman looks back in concern.

Eleanor straightens up, breathing in deep. “God, you’d think you could teleport in the afterlife”

Tahani smiles slightly, hand still resting on the door, and she looks beautiful Eleanor thinks. She looks beautiful and ethereal in every single forking regeneration. Eleanor then remembers how many times she’s said those three words to the woman in front of her.

 “I’ve said ‘I love you’ to only two people in my life” Tahani furrows her brow, but keeps listening as Eleanor rambles. Starting to pace in front on the front porch. “That being a waitress who gave me an extra breadstick basket for free, and also to myself when I somehow got not one, but _five_ Kit Kat’s from a vending machine”

Eleanor sees Tahani’s raised brow, and quickly closes her eyes and breathes. “Bottom line is-“

 _Fork,_ Tahani’s looking back with no recognition, just…wondering why she’s rambling about literally everything while on her front door step. And how does Eleanor explain the feeling of 2056 regenerations? How does Eleanor explain that throughout them all, throughout everyone she was ever given as a soulmate, Tahani felt like, well, the _one?_

How do you explain loving someone like that? Like if you breathed in near them, or closed your eyes while laying on their chest, you would feel at home.

Eleanor suddenly can’t breathe, she can’t _talk._ “B-Bottom line i-is-“

_I love you I love you I love you._

“-the way to my heart is breadsticks and Kit Kats”

With that, Eleanor shuts her eyes, turning away and walking down the steps as Tahani opens her mouth. Confusion absolutely taking over her face.

 “Eleanor!? Wait I-“

The blonde woman keeps walking, nails digging into her palms, _I’m so stupid I’m so stupid. Fork._ Why did she think that Tahani would miraculously remember?

“Eleanor wait! Oh bloody hell”

Tahani sighs, hiking up her summer dress and running in her heels to catch up with the other woman. Nearly breaking an ankle on the grass as Eleanor simply walks faster. She calls out, still not knowing what’s going on, but with Eleanor, she’s always been a little weak for her.

 “I hope you know I don’t _run_ for anyone! I have delicate ankles”

 But Eleanor keeps walking, Tahani thinks she sees her wipe at her eyes. “Eleanor Shellstrop I swear to the gods if you don’t stop running I’m _taking_ the heels off”

 No answer. More fast paced walking. Tahani groans under her breath. “Oh, you’re so glad I love you”

 She flicks off her heels, picking them up daintily in her fingers as she jogs a bit faster. _Finally_ making it to the blonde woman, she grabs lightly at her bicep. Softly urging her to stop as she nearly collides into Eleanor’s back from how fast the shorter woman halted.

 “Eleanor?”

Her voice is soft now, because _oh._

Eleanor’s _crying._

And not heavily, like not the type of crying Tahani would get watching Downton Abbey. It’s the quiet crying, like your heart decided to break and melt into your ribcage.

Eleanor wipes her cheeks with her sleeve, trying to ignore how fast Tahani’s face softened, how her grip loosened even though all Eleanor wants is to hold her hand again.

 “Are you alright?”

Eleanor folds her arms, sucking in her bottom lip and nodding. “Phsst. For sure. Why? Because if you think I’m crying, I’m _not._ It’s called Spring allergies.”

Tahani frowns. “It’s Summer”

Eleanor lets her arms fall in exasperation, groaning and shrugging as her wet cheeks glisten in the sun. She’s pretty, Tahani thinks. Beautiful.

 “It doesn’t even matter Tahani! It’s the afterlife, seasons don’t exist”

Tahani pouts, still holding to Eleanor’s arm. “Well not with that attitude they don’t”

Eleanor snorts, shaking her head. “God, how did I fall in love with you?”

And Eleanor’s eyes widen, as do Tahani’s. Her heart seems to stop, then start again, then wants to beat out of her chest at the blonde woman’s words. _She loves me?_

“I-I mean. Shirt. Fork. What I meant to say was-“

 “Eleanor?”

 “Y-yeah?”

Tahani swallows, the sun catches Eleanor’s eyes in this way that makes her want to remember them always. Or to just, bottle up the colour. Then the words Eleanor said at her doorstep come flooding back, and she realises, randomly, that without her heels on; Eleanor’s actually not that much shorter. Tahani still towers, but if she tried, she’d only have to lean slightly down to kiss her.  

 “We’re in the…bad place?”

Eleanor nods her head, biting her lip.

 “And this is attempt…”

 “2056” Eleanor nearly whispers as she answers.

Tahani nods, letting a breath of air out. “And-and you know this how?”

Eleanor shrugs, at some point, Tahani let her hand fall down her arm. She’s holding softly to her wrist now. “I dunno, I just, remembered it all suddenly. Out of nowhere. Does the afterlife have glitches?”

Tahani smiles slightly, a laugh escaping. “What, like one giant Mandela effect?”

Eleanor brightens, clicking her fingers. “ _Exactly_. Oh my god why didn’t I think of that?”

They laugh, and at one point, Tahani wonders if in all these 2056 attempts, she ever loved Eleanor. She guesses she has, because with her, everything feels….

Everything just feels okay.

 “So, you’re in love with me?”

Eleanor blushes, the slightest amount, but its enough to notice beneath the blue sky and her pale cheeks.

 “I think. Wait, no, I mean yes” Eleanor takes a deep breath, and she folds her arms, like she’s trying to escape from the situation. Like saying this is a lot for her. Tahani has a feeling it is, it’s probably the biggest moment Eleanor’s ever faced.

 “I think I’ve loved you in all of them, or well, most of them. In some capacity I’ve always loved you. You’re the one that’s just, made me feel everything at once, you know?” Eleanor smiles slightly, looking to Tahani, she’s glad she loves her. Eleanor’s glad her soul chose Tahani.

 “Actually, you wouldn’t, because you super don’t remember” Eleanor presses her lips together sadly, shrugging. And Tahani is speechless, her heels dangle from her fingers still.

 “Anyways, we’ll probably be erased any second now, Michael will somehow find out. So this whole Notebook styled confession doesn’t even matter because- _hmffp”_

And Tahani kisses her; she cradles softly to Eleanor’s cheek, smiling into the kiss. Muttering against the shorter woman’s lips. Eleanor feels like she’s flying, like this is what she missed out on in the first attempt when she picked up garbage instead.

  “I might not remember, but with the time we have left, tell me. I want to know _everything_ Eleanor”

And so she does, she tells Tahani how many times they kissed. How many times Eleanor thought she was messing up the ‘Good Place’, how many times Eleanor can remember laying her head on Tahani’s chest and laughing about stupid things that didn’t even matter anymore. She tells her about that one time, in the middle of a cherry picking date, Tahani tied a cherry stalk with her tongue and smiled and Eleanor said that if she could she’d marry her right then and there. And so they did.  

She tells Tahani a lot of things, she tells her she loves her. And how many more times that she will.

 

-


	4. highlight of my lowlife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone on my tumblr: hey imagine if tahani and eleanor were married when they were alive then eleanor dies. tahani deals with the grief of losing her love and by a freak accident, somehow passes away as well. then they reunite in the good place and its angsty + fluffy !!!
> 
> me, already crying: y-yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i miss them and 20gayteen really treating us right already with so much elhani interactions wow !!
> 
> anyways i hope u all enjoy, theres gonna be a second part to this (i just didnt want to post this as a stand alone fic cause its more of a oneshot/small fic ya feel?) 
> 
> comments and kudos are super appreciated i hope ur all well!!! xx

-

 

Tahani concluded her parents didn’t love her equally to Kamilah when she was only ten years old.

She remembers the painting she created, it took her a week to perfect the modern impressionistic style she wanted to incorporate; she wanted to capture how much she loved her sister and parents. She wanted the art to _bleed_ love, to jump out of the canvas and say “hey! I love you. Do you love me?”

Then her sister came back with a hand crafted metal horse, her parents looked to Tahani like she personally slapped them in the face, and ever since then, Tahani learnt to shield her love. She started hating her sister. She started wanting her parents love like the kid in her painting wanted the little bird that was stuck in the metal cage. Yearning. Desperate.

She learnt at 18 that she was the kid, her sister was the cage, and the bird was that little thing called acceptance.

That’s all Tahani wanted.

Why did she have to die for it?

 

 

-

 

 

Okay, maybe Tahani skipped ahead a little.

_Start at the beginning, right?_

 “Tahani?”

She counts the drops of rain falling down the window she faces, her therapist, Mrs. Kaldwin, clears her throat. Smiling lightly when Tahani looks back, fingers worrying her lips, she smiles back and hastily wipes under her eyes of tears. Yet nothing comes up on her hand, her skin dry and perfect.

She hasn’t cried in a while, maybe Tahani cried so much she couldn’t cry again.  

Mrs. Kaldwin, a short middle aged woman with kind eyes and a smile to match, taps her pen patiently to her notebook. She has crinkles at the edges of her tan skin, Tahani wonders if she’ll age as gracefully as that. She hopes she does, laugh lines and sun crinkles mean happiness, right?

 “Do you want to talk more about the caged bird?”

Tahani blinks, she plays with her wedding ring around her finger, she has a tan line on her skin from the jewellery and it makes her smile because maybe it’s a step closer to the laugh lines she wants, but feels like she lost.

 “I think I covered it all actually, Mrs. Kaldwin.”

Her therapist smiles lightly, shaking her head. “How many times have I told you to call me Carol? We’re friends, Tahani.”

Tahani smiles back, but it hurts. She hasn’t smiled in a while, she wonders if that will change.

 "How’s packing going?”

Tahani frowns, she thinks of all of her wife’s things, her pillow case and her jacket and her perfume and Tahani turns to the window again like if she opened it she could breathe again. Like if she squints hard enough, if she imagines it vividly, Eleanor’s smiling face reflects in the glass next to her.

 " _Oh my god babe, my rain drop is totally beating yours. Suck it!”_

Tahani’s breath leaves her all at once, like someone threw her in front of an incoming train. Her breath quickens, she closes her eyes and _god,_ she can’t breathe. She can’t breathe she can’t breathe she can’t-

 “Tahani? Deep breaths, remember our exercise?”

When did Carol get out of her seat and hold her shoulders?

 “Things you love, Tahani. Repeat them.”

The taller woman nods, eyes still shut, her fingers squeezing her wedding ring.

 “Fire lit streetlights. Dancing. Tiny marshmallows.” She starts to pace, tears now falling down her cheeks, fingers twisting around each other. “Rainbows. Bubble wrap. The smell of vanilla.”

_Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor._

She squeezes so tight to her wedding ring she wonders if her fingers will break.

 

 

-

 

 

 

When they first started dating, it was like God (or whatever existed beyond planet earth) put the most polar opposite people together and said “Here, let’s see how this works.”

They met at a typical party, when Tahani was studying at Yale. And no, Eleanor was _not_ enrolled, she was what Tahani describes in the simplest sense; a party crasher. Except oddly, she bought _more_ excitement and joy to it, rather than destroying it.

 “ _Wooh!_ Let’s fucking party you rich douchebags!”

Tahani found her insufferable from the get go.

She didn’t even _like_ these parties, the only reason she was here was because Kamilah was attending too. Spreading her influence to the rest of the prestigious college and sticking her _claws_ into every college professors rich son.

Tahani intended to do just that, except rather, with the rich girls.

When she says it like that, she frowns. God, it sounds so petty and trivial. But then she hears Kamilah’s loud laughter and how she leans on a smiling rich candidate, and Tahani grips her red solo cup tighter. Bee lining for the cute heiress she saw when she walked in.

Except her path is derailed, _completely._

Because she runs right into Party Crasher, blonde hair obscuring her view as they knock into each other. Tahani gasps, feels liquid run down the front of her dress and – _oh my god._

“Are you fucking kidding me? Watch where you’re going Wonder Woman, you just ruined a perfectly good K-mart leather jacket.”

Tahani opens her mouth, frowning and stepping back as the alcohol runs down her dress, arms open wide to avoid the sticky substance from getting on more of her skin. She’s _furious,_ who does this woman think she is?

“Excuse me!? This dress is worth more than you’re bloody life. Watch where _you’re_ going you daft bimbo.”

Party Crasher scoffs, her arms folding across her chest. Tahani _towers_ over her, there’s at least an eight inch difference between the two. So Tahani uses this to her advantage, looking down to the blonde woman and noticing how she sways on her feet. Drink now forgotten and on the floor.

Tahani must be drunk, because the girl has beautiful eyes she thinks. Like crystals.

 “Bimbo? That’s all you got? Fuck off man.”

Okay, moment ruined.

The blonde woman walks away with a scoff, almost tripping on cups as Tahani calls out to her. Anger still coursing through her body at this woman’s blatant rudeness and apathy.

 “Uh, where do you think you’re going? This dress won’t dry clean itself you arse!”

Party Crasher flips her off, walking deeper into the crowd as Tahani groans, stomping after her and avoiding her sister at _all_ costs.

It doesn’t _mean_ anything that an hour later Tahani is drunk off shots that Party Crasher slid her across the table as an apology.

The blonde woman didn’t say anything, she just screamed and danced to the song playing over the speaker and Tahani, for once, let herself has this one night. Let herself have this one adventure because she knew in the morning Kamilah would have all the praise and be Yale’s new talk of the century and her parents would call her saying how disappointed they are that she can’t be _better._

(Then, two hours later at 2 in the morning Tahani is picking Party Crasher up, the shorter woman’s legs around her waist, slamming her against the bathroom door. Tongue down her throat. Drunk on her touch.)

She found out in the morning her name was Eleanor. Eleanor Shellstrop. She had to text the number the blonde woman left on the pillow to confirm that was her real name. Because really? _Shellstrop?_

She got a: _fuck you queen elizabeth_ as an answer.

And somehow, that was the start of everything.

 

 

-

 

 

 “Hey babe, you said Kamilah was your sister, right? Like, that famous singer?”

Tahani hums, painting her toe nails on their bed as her girlfriend brushes her teeth. Poking her head from the bathroom as she frowns, Tahani raises a questioning eyebrow in her direction. Eleanor simply bares her teeth, brushing furiously in that way that makes Tahani roll her eyes with a laugh.

 “Yes, darling. Why?”

Eleanor shrugs, Tahani’s work shirt and nothing else hanging off her shoulders in this way the taller woman loves.

 “Weird. I hadn’t heard of her before knowing you. I listened to her new album, who told her dying cats was a genre of music?”

(Tahani, in that moment, swears she could have married Eleanor right then and there in her pyjamas and mouth full of toothpaste.)

 

 

-

 

 

Eleanor’s funeral fell on a Thursday.

Tahani never liked Thursdays. They felt weird and out of place and _wrong._

She hates them even more now.

 

 

-

 

 

_Welcome to the Good Place! Everything is fine._

“Huh”

Eleanor frowns, reading the words on the wall in front of her. She looks to her hands, flips them over to her palms, making sure she’s real. Everything is _white,_ the walls, the floor, she’s sitting on a couch? Eleanor tries to remember the last thing on her mind, the last thing she remembers.

Fork. She was going on a midnight icecream run for Tahani. Why does she remember so much water? Why do her lungs ache? Why the fork can’t she say fork?

 “Eleanor! Welcome. Come right in.”

A tall older man smiles from the door to her right, and Eleanor wonders if she somehow was slipped something while driving to Wallmart. She stands up, having no idea where she is or what’s happening or if she’s even _real_ right now.

She hopes her wife doesn’t mind melted mint chocolate ice-ream. She has a feeling she’s gonna be here for a while.

 “Uh hey? What’s up with the uhh,” Eleanor flicks a fake plant on her way in, looking around this old dudes office. “weird doctors office vibe I’m getting. Where am I?”

The tall man smiles, hair the same colour as his teeth, sitting down behind his desk and gesturing for Eleanor to do the same. She does, sitting cross legged and casual on the chair as he clears his throat.

 “I’m Michael. I run things here in the Good Place.”

Eleanor frowns, folding her arms.

 “Uh okay? Look dude, I was driving to get my wife ice cream and now I’m here. So, is this some type of prank? Did Tahani set you up to this? Oh my god this is her payback for that time I replaced her toothpaste with mayonnaise, isn’t it?”

Michael just blinks at Eleanor, shuffling the papers in his hand as he smiles awkwardly. Taking a breath and letting the words hit Eleanor straight in the chest, like knives in her heart.

 “No, not a prank. You, Eleanor Shellstrop, are dead! Exciting, isn’t it? A semi-trailer T-boned you as you were driving and boop! Straight over a bridge into a river, wow _what_ a mess. Firefighters were clearing up your car for _hours,_ seven rescue teams trying to recover your body! Amazing. Also-“ Michael trails off, noticing the silence. “Oh, uh Eleanor? Are you alright?”

Eleanor’s legs unfurl from their position, dropping to the floor as all the breath from her lungs escapes her. The walls feel too tight, her body feels real but her hands feel fake and does that even make sense? She looks to Michael, choking out the words as her throat closes up.

All that’s on her mind is Tahani. She left her alone and she didn’t get her ice cream and _fork where’s her engagement ring? Why isn’t in on her finger?_

“I’m…I’m dead?”

Michael brightens up again, clicking his pen. “That’s right! And the Good Place is your paradise from the living. Do you want the grand tour?”

Eleanor swallows once, mouth open but no words escaping.

 _No, I don’t want that,_ Eleanor thinks. She doesn’t want this, she doesn’t want to be dead, she wants to be alive, she wants to wake up next to her wife and for all of this to be a dream. She wants Tahani to sleepily mumble against the back of her neck, holding her close to her front because to Eleanor, _that’s_ heaven. Not here.

Besides, how can a place be called _good_ if Tahani isn’t there?

 

-

 

 

 

Tahani was curled up on the couch, binge watching Friends, when blue and red flashes past her window.

Describing grief has always been hard for Tahani, trying to conjure up words that encompass the feeling of losing half of your heart is near impossible; but Tahani remembers it like this.

The policemen that comes to her door is tall, he’s gentle and kind and asks for a minute of Tahani’s time. Just a moment. As if what he is going to say is just something two people would discuss over afternoon tea.

She remembers the last thing she said to Eleanor. Something about “ _Cookie dough icecream”_ and “ _Darling, don’t get mint chocolate either. We’re not savages”_ which earned her an eye roll and cheek kiss and an “ _Okay nerd”_

She remembers clutching the side of the door between her fingers, she doesn’t let him in her house because as soon as he says _“I’m very sorry to inform you-“_ Tahani can’t feel her legs or her body anymore; all she can feel is-

It’s like a black hole. Like it sucked the air out of your lungs and left you to suffocate.

Her hand goes up to her mouth, the door is shut closed on the policeman and all she can manage is collapsing against the door; sliding down.

She curls her knees up to her chest. She doesn’t get up until the sun rises. She cries until she can’t cry anymore.

 

 

-

 

 

 

 “Dude, this has to be a mistake. Who even _likes_ frozen yoghurt?”

Michael blinks down at Eleanor, a cup of strawberry froyo in his hand as he then clicks his fingers. Making one appear in Eleanor’s.

 “Frozen Yoghurt is a classic! It’s a delight Eleanor.”

Eleanor simply drops hers in a trash can as they pass it, folding her arms.

 “The only good thing about yoghurt is when it’s in one of those squeezy tubes you got when you were a kid,” Eleanor snaps her fingers, trying to find the word. “You know, those forking yoghurt cylinders. Wait, fork? Why the fork can’t I say fork?”

Michael smiles, simply gesturing with is spoon as he talks. “Ah, there’s no swearing in the Good Place. There’s an automatic filter put on each resident. To ensure a safe and happy experience!”

Eleanor stops dead in her tracks, she’s dreaming, right?

She squints, looking Michael up and down. He’s wearing a fine pressed suit, glasses, pointed shoes, and Eleanor feels like she’s high on that acid she took when she was eighteen.

 “God, I really am dead, aren’t I?”

Michael’s eyes soften, he licks his spoon and nods. They pass another froyo shop, an elderly couple wave to Eleanor. She gags, keeping up with Michael’s pace.

 “Unfortunately. _But_ there are perks to being dead Eleanor, trust me.”

Eleanor gestures in front of them, smiling. It doesn’t reach her eyes. She misses Tahani so much it hurts.

 “Lead the way then oh grand master!”

Michael claps his hands, his yoghurt disappearing with a ‘boop’

 “Perfect! First, let’s meet your soulmate.”

 “My forking _what!?”_

 

_-_

 


	5. highlight of my lowlife pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back!! and decided this mini fic is gonna have three parts sdkds bc i love them and the build up of angst to them finally reuniting :-) anyways i hope u all enjoy this chap! sorry it took so long inspiration left me :(

-

 

There’s a second, a brief moment, where Eleanor honestly thinks the ground from under her falls away.

Michael is looking to her questioningly, smiling to cover up his surprise at her outburst. Eleanor’s folding her arms, blinking once, twice, throat closing up as she tries to speak.

 “Woah woah woah dude. My…my _soulmate?”_

Michael nods, brightening at her question. Clicking his fingers in excitement. Eleanor honestly can’t find anything _good_ about this place so far, and it’s kind of bumming her out. Who knew heaven sucked so bad already?

 “Yes! Everyone is destined to be with someone in the Good Place. It’s so, you know,” Michael gestures with his hands, making Eleanor raise her eyebrows in question. “No one is lonely.”

It hits Eleanor then, it hits her right in the chest. Like the feeling she felt just before she died.

Without Tahani, she has a feeling she’ll be alone here forever. Her wife was kinda _it_ for her. Eleanor’s never loved someone that much. If she believed in this Good Place soulmate stuff, Tahani’s hers.

(Except her wife is currently, well, _up there._ Or wherever earth is currently. Is heaven actually up, or down? Or is it sideways?)

So she folds her arms, her heart hurts this little bit more and she smiles sadly, clapping Michael on the shoulder making him jump.

 “Sorry buddy, my soulmate was on earth. Did you even think that one through when making this place? What if people here already had their soulmates on earth? Forked up system if you ask me.”

When she shrugs after, Michael looks slightly offended, a rage behind his eyes that flickers ever so quickly making Eleanor frown. But he brightens in the next moment, as if the brief anger never existed, and calls out into the air.

 “Janet?”

Eleanor almost screams when a brunette woman appears right next to him, out of thin air.

 “Holy shir-“

 “Hello!”

Michael brightens, gesturing for _Janet_ to speak.

 “Janet, tell Eleanor here the system of soulmates please.”

Eleanor opens her mouth, still weirded the hell out from women just appearing out of nowhere, but is beaten to speaking as Janet smiles. Firing words off a mile a minute.

 “Of course! Soulmates are like other halves to humans, someone you love, cherish, with all of the beating organ inside of your chest there,” Janet points to Eleanor’s chest, making the blonde woman lean away with a raise eyebrow. “Statistically, you can die from heart break! According to-“

Michael stops her there, chuckling awkwardly and intervening.

 “Woah woah. Okay, still got some tweaks to figure out with our Janet systems. _But,_ what she said is true Eleanor. A soulmate here is someone you love, you know, someone close to your heart.”

With that, Eleanor sighs, frowning and folding her arms. She guesses this guy isn’t gonna get it anytime soon, so she just says with a shrug of her shoulders: “I get it dude, I do. But that was Tahani for me. I don’t have a soulmate here.”

Michael blinks once, Janet smiles back in that creepy robotic way, and Eleanor already hates heaven. She hates it so forking much.

Because Tahani isn’t here, so she may as well be in hell.

 

 

-

 

 

 

There’s three things people don’t tell you about grief and losing someone you love.

 

  1. Everything reminds you of them. You’ll see them in the sun light that reflects off a table, or the flicker of a candles flame. Tahani sees Eleanor in her dreams a lot. She doesn’t like sleeping much.  
  

  2. The smell of their clothes can set you spiralling again. It’s been nearly a year but Tahani cleaned out their wardrobe and one of Eleanor’s flannel’s fell out and Tahani didn’t get out of their house for days.  
  

  3. People will offer condolences. But they’ll never understand. Not unless they’ve been through it themselves. Tahani gets a bouquet of flowers from her parents and a hand written note, they don’t even call.



 

She burns them the day she gets them. She never even invited them to Eleanor’s funeral.

Tahani likes to think it’s getting easier for her, to think of Eleanor and not go into a spiralling mess of tears.

One day though, a woman at the super market passes her and her hair is Eleanor’s and her laugh is _Eleanor’s_ and Tahani feels her chest break. It cracks in two.

(She honestly never thought her heart would cease to work in the middle of a Wallmart in aisle three.)

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Tahani was the one to propose to Eleanor.

Funnily enough, they planned it unknowingly on the same day. Their fourth anniversary.

They went to a small Hawaiian styled bar on the beaches of Miami, because Tahani’s always loved the sun and even though Eleanor always complains about sand in “Places they shouldn’t be, babe.” she still goes because it makes Tahani happy.

If Tahani was going to give a definition of true love, she’d make it that.

But she remembers Eleanor fidgeting a lot on the bar stool of the hut, and Tahani smiled at her over her glass of a bloody mary because she had a feeling, in her heart, that Eleanor had the same idea.

 “Darling, you’re going to break that tiny umbrella in two.”

Eleanor drops her drinks tiny umbrella, leaning on her forearms and oh so _casually_ propping her chin in her hand. Trying to act as if her heart isn’t beating out of her chest as she looks to her girlfriend’s knowing look.

 “What? I’m cool.”

Tahani raises a disbelieving eyebrow, putting her glass down. “Uh huh. Sure. Oh, can you pass me those peanuts please, love?”

And as Eleanor turns in her seat, a “Sure babe” leaving her lips, when she turns back around, Tahani’s on one knee. Smiling and her chest labouring as she pulls the ring out of her dress pocket because _oh god oh god now that I’m actually down here I’m freaking the bloody hell out._

But Eleanor just gapes, dropping the basket of peanuts right on the ground in front of her girlfriend, voice cracking as she exclaims.

 “Holy fucking shit.”

Tahani laughs, ring in her hand as she lays her palm on Eleanor’s thigh. She can see tears in Eleanor’s eyes, and Tahani can feel her knees shaking.

 “Tahani, I swear if this is another prank I’m breaking up with you.”

At that, the woman on the ground rolls her eyes with a smile, taking Eleanor’s hand in hers lightly; rubbing soft comforting circles on her skin. “I’m not a savage Eleanor. But I have a feeling you were planning this too?”

Eleanor gets up from her seat, bending down and picking up the peanut basket. At Tahani’s questioning frown, Eleanor digs through it and finds the ring. Smiling and holding it up.

 “It was in the peanut basket. I was really hoping you weren’t actually gonna eat them and inhale the ring, because then I’d have to do the heimlich on you as we got engaged.”

Tahani, still kneeling, laughs with an “Oh my god, we’re idiots” as Eleanor kneels with her. Smiling and taking her hands in hers. She’s never felt this happy before.

 “Also, it’s a big fat fucking yes babe.”  
  
Tahani blinks, mouth open in shock. “I didn’t even get to ask! That is _so_ not fair you’re not stealing this moment I swear to god Eleanor Shellstrop-“  
  
But Eleanor just kisses her, shutting her up, and Tahani melts into the kiss. Hands at the base of Eleanor’s neck as everything just…falls into place.

 “That’s Mrs. Eleanor Al-Jamil-Shellstrop to you.”

Eleanor then frowns, arms still around Tahani’s shoulders from their kiss.

 “Wait, oh fuck, we’re gonna have two hyphens in our names!?”

Tahani laughs again, smiling and kissing Eleanor. They slip the rings on each other’s fingers and the sun sets in this beautiful way that lights up Eleanor’s eyes. Like the strobe lights at the party they first met at.

 (This is the dream Tahani has every night. It’s the main reason she doesn’t really sleep anymore.)

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Eleanor’s “soulmate” is a dorky philosophy teacher named Chidi Anagonye.

When Eleanor mentions she has a wife, and jokingly states that “Yeah, sorry dude, even when I’m dead I’m loyal.” Chidi smiles and takes it in stride, holding out his hand to shake.

 “Platonic soulmates it is then. Nice to meet you! I’m Chidi.”  
  
Eleanor likes Chidi, he’s nerdy and weird and always almost trips over the front steps of her house (oh yeah did she mention you get _houses_ here??) but for all his flaws, he’s probably the closest thing she’ll have to an actual friend here. And that’s nice.

They play board games all the time, and video games when Eleanor wins their scissors paper rock  decider. Eleanor gets drunk and spills to Chidi everything she’s feeling. And it’s in a night of Monopoly, Chidi basically already had won the game, that Eleanor tipsily slurs.

 “I miss her.”

Chidi looks up, fixing his glasses with a frown. “Who?”

Eleanor sits cross legged, her chin in her hand as she moves the tiny little car piece around the board. “Tahani.”

Chidi’s expression softens, he clasps his hands in his lap and purses his lips. He’s never been the best with emotions, but he does know this.

 “Eleanor, can I ask you something?”  
  
Eleanor sighs, downing the rest of her bottle of Jack she had Janet bring her. “Shoot dude. M’ not getting any younger because I’m forking dead.”  
  
Chidi smiles at that, laughing lightly. “True. But I wanted to ask, how did you die?”  
  
Eleanor frowns, hiccupping and letting the bottle roll across the floor. “Oh yeah, _that._ I got run off the road and plunged off a bridge and drowned.” Eleanor pauses a moment, trying to catch her rolling alcohol with a lazy hand and slurred words.

 “What does this have to do with me missing Tahani?”

Chidi opens his mouth, surprised at the gory way Eleanor died, and how easily she recalls it. He barely remembers his own death, something about being crushed and dying instantly. He forgets about it for now, focusing on Eleanor as he passes GO, collecting 200 dollars.

 “It has to do with Tahani because, well, maybe missing her will get easier the more you think about dying.”

Eleanor looks up with an eyebrow raised, wondering just how the hell that even works. Chidi goes to explain, sighing at her look of confusion. “Hear me out. Focusing on your mortality and the eventuality of death will help you realise that, well, it sounds harsh, but-“

“Dude. Spit it out man.”

 “Right. It’ll help you realise that in order to move on, you have to accept that you’re dead. And that seeing Tahani isn’t possible. Not until she uh,” Chidi scratches the back of his neck, fixing his glasses as he coughs. “well, dies. And you reunite here.”

 _That_ makes Eleanor stop short. Because he’s right, but Eleanor’s not focusing on that right now. She’s focusing on how the room feels smaller all of the sudden, and how when Eleanor sees Tahani next she’ll be older, having lived a full life, meeting someone new, having children, remarrying, all these things go through Eleanor’s head in one go.

How there’s only two ways Eleanor’s _ever_ going to see her true soulmate again. If Tahani dies by some freak accident (which holy fork, does Eleanor _not_ want) or after decades of Tahani living, of moving on, of starting a family and getting through her grief, _that’s_ when she’ll see her.

When Tahani dies of old age.

It’s so forking morbid, and dark, and heartbreaking that Eleanor falls backwards onto her back; staring to the ceiling.

 “Eleanor? You okay?”

She stares a bit longer, saying “Yeah. I’m good dude.” as Chidi picks up the monopoly board, smiling in sympathy as Eleanor lays quietly.

She doesn’t realise until later, when Chidi checks up on her, that there are tears falling down her cheeks. Chidi doesn’t say anything, he just lays a pillow and blanket next to her lying body. And Eleanor curls up into the blanket, and wonders if Tahani misses her as much as _she_ misses her.

(It’s obvious, they miss each other the same amount. This place doesn’t feel much like heaven to Eleanor, not anymore.)

 

-

 

 

 


	6. highlight of my lowlife pt3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back! sorry for the LONG wait but i finally got the time and energy to get back into one of my fav pairings! this is the last chap of this mini fic, but other one shots with these soulmates will still be posted here. i hope you all liked this fic, and ur feed back and support means the world to me :) I hope you enjoy this chap and until next time! xx

_-_

 

_She learnt at 18 that she was the kid, her sister was the cage, and the bird was that little thing called acceptance._

_That’s all Tahani wanted._

_Why did she have to die for it?_

_-_

 

 

It’s coming up on Eleanor’s two year death anniversary and honestly Tahani thinks it’s getting better, the days bleed into weeks faster and she finds herself able to smile in answer when someone asks: _“How are you?”_

So, she’s doing fine, she guesses. If “fine” in the dictionary translates to “barely getting through the days” then yes, she’s _fine._

Eleanor’s mother, sometimes, calls her. It’s a fifteen second conversation that starts with half assed attempts at sympathy and ends with “I’m here whenever you need me, honey.”

She never really…got along with her mother in law, and whenever Tahani would stress this, her need to be accepted by Eleanor’s family, Eleanor would always scoff and wave it away because: “Babe, Tahani, they’re barely my family. _You’re_ my family now. Screw em.” And Tahani would smile and kiss her and feel Eleanor’s laughter against her lips because she never really realised, until now, that one of the things that brought the two women together was their need for a family. One that actually _cared,_ noticed when they were gone, unconditionally loved them.

Just…someone who accepts them. Whole heartedly.

So when _her_ own sister calls? When Kamilah says over the phone: “ _I know it’s been years, but we should catch up.”_ Tahani feels like she just got thrown into another dimension, because she isn’t hearing this, right?

She frowns, sits on the end of her bed, and stutters out. “I’m…I’m sorry, _what?”_

Kamilah, over the phone, sighs. Supressing the urge to tell her sister she’s physically rolling her eyes right now. _“I said, dear sister, we should catch up. You know…talk.”_

Tahani lets out a mix between a laugh and a scoff, standing up and pacing her room. Eleanor’s flannels still sit messily thrown across the floor, Tahani never found the need to move them.

 “Oh, I heard you Kamilah, but has your head finally grown so large it toppled over?” Tahani feels a rage burn up inside of her. Where was Kamilah when she needed her? Where was her _sister_ two years ago? Where was she when her own father said “Oh Tahani, you _must_ remarry soon. You’re only this young once.”

Tahani feels tears burn the back of her eyes. “What makes you think, in any realm of possibility, that I want to see you?”

The words are harsh, Tahani knows this, but god, is it any less harsh then what Kamilah has said to her over the years? Kamilah sighs over the phone, acting as if the words didn’t even register. But they did, and Kamilah won’t admit this, but it cracks her chest a little.

 “ _I know I…“_

Tahani hears Kamilah swallow over the phone, it makes her stop her pacing, eyebrows furrowed because she’s never _heard_ her sister like this. Ever. “ _I know I’ve been horrible. A ghastly sister if I’m being honest.”_ Tahani opens her mouth in shock, because Kamilah? Admitting her wrongs? It’s unheard of.

_“But I…want to make amends, Tahani. I know the timing is bad, with Eleanor’s anniversary and all. But come to my mansion, Tuesday, for brunch. I’ll have my security let you in.”_

And with that, the phone line goes dead, and Tahani pulls her phone from her ear and stares at it and _stares_ at it trying to formulate words. She honestly thinks she hears Eleanor at her shoulder, looking down at her phone and saying: “ _Damn, since when did She-Devil have a conscience, babe?”_

If it was any other day, Tahani would smile at the thought. But the only thing going through her mind is…well, since when did Kamilah remember anniversaries that didn’t revolve around her?

Since when has her sister ever cared?

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 “Heaven is…super boring.”

Chidi looks up at Eleanor from his book, furrowing his brows and shrugging. “I’m pretty entertained right now.”

Eleanor looks towards him with a deadpan gaze, flopping down onto the couch Chidi sits on in her home, craning her head back and looking towards the ceiling. God, she’s so bored she feels like her mind is melting. And she misses Tahani; because when Eleanor got in her bored states on her days off and felt like she’d go crazy if she didn’t do something, Tahani would cancel every meeting she had on that day and take Eleanor on the most spontaneous trips.

There was that one time Tahani took her to Disney Land, with an all access pass because somehow her parents knew Walt Disney’s grandchildren? Eleanor didn’t question it, she basically tackled Tahani to the bed and kissed her senseless, feeling her wife’s smile against her lips.

Now? Not even _heaven_ could beat Tahani.

Eleanor’s bought back to the present, letting her body flop sideways onto the couch. “I could ask Janet for three more of those philosophy books you’re reading and you’d be content for another 3 hours, dude. We’re not compatible.”

Chidi rolls his eyes, dog earing the page and snapping his book shut, gesturing to Eleanor. “Well? What did you do on Earth to cure your boredom?”

Eleanor groans, shoving her face into a pillow, her voice muffled and defeated.

 “Hang out with Tahani.”

Chidi widens his eyes, pursing his lips awkwardly and folding his arms. “Oh, sorry. Uh, what about with your friends?”

Eleanor sighs, not moving her head from the pillow.

 “My work friends and I would go out and get shirt-faced on weekends when my boss was being a duck.” Eleanor frowns at the word, then realises even _that_ is censored as she rolls her eyes against the pillow. “But other than that, watching movies and hanging out, I’d do-”

Eleanor flops onto her back, clutching the pillow to her chest and looking to the ceiling. Being dead _sucks._

 “I’d do everything with Tahani, dude. She’s my best friend.”

Chidi’s eyes soften when Eleanor says that, awkwardly and sympathetically patting her on the calf. He sucks in a breath, choosing his next words carefully.

 “Look, I know we’ve only been dead for, what I assume, only a couple of days; but we haven’t done…well, _anything._ We’re in _heaven._ There’s probably some way to fly here for all we know.”

Eleanor sits up, almost smacking her head into Chidi’s, eyes bright and smile wide.

 “Dude. _Dude._ We’re going flying. We’re doing it. Holy fork-“

Chidi frowns, opening his mouth. “Um, wait no I didn’t actually mean-“

But Eleanor’s already taken his hand, hauling him off the couch and to the front door, smiling like a kid with candy the whole way.

 “Let’s go platonic soulmate! You suggested this. Not me. If we die again this is all your fault. This is gonna be awesome!”

Chidi swallows once, fixing his glasses. “Oh god.”

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

When Tahani rings the doorbell, it’s weird that she feels the opposite to nervous.

Last time she was here, it was with Eleanor, to personally invite her sister to their wedding in one _last_ ditch effort at reconciliation on Tahani’s part. She remembers how much she was shaking; how much she was dreading asking her and seeing her again and she remembers how Eleanor held her hand; looked up at her and nudged her shoulder against Tahani’s bicep. Smiling softly and supportively. She remembers her heart melting at the edges. 

 “Hey hot stuff, we’re gonna be okay, yeah? If she says no, fuck her. If she says yes, fuck her. Either way…fuck her.”

Eleanor ended it with a decisive shrug of her shoulders, making Tahani laugh. And her fiancé squeezed once to her hand and smiled softly, and Tahani can remember how hard it was to resist the urge to kiss the top of Eleanor’s head. Which Eleanor _hated,_ because all 5’2’’ of her would feel even _smaller._

Eleanor frowned at the look Tahani gave, and leant away slightly. “No, don’t. That’s your _“I want to endearingly kiss your forehead”_ look.”

Tahani pouted. “Just once? Please?”

Eleanor rolled her eyes and relented, groaning. “Fiiine.”

When Tahani wrapped her arm around Eleanor’s waist, smiling in victory as she brought the other woman into her side, pressing her lips to the top of her blonde hair, Eleanor _maybe_ smiled too. But she’d never admit to secretly loving it. _Ever._ So, don’t even ask.

And now? Standing in the exact spot 4 years later with her hand poised to ring the doorbell again? Tahani, when she looks back on it, it’s like they’ve come full circle. Well, more of a beaten-up square. If that analogy even makes sense. Because her wife is dead. And not here. And her sister is the one reaching out, not Tahani. And now her heart hurts because she misses Eleanor and everything fucking sucks and-

The mahogany double doors open, Kamilah smiling back at Tahani, looking graceful as ever.

 “Tahani! Long-time no see, sister.”

Tahani smiles back, bracing herself, clasping her hands to her front. And thinks maybe, just maybe, if she tries hard enough, it’ll feel like Eleanor’s hand is holding hers.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

Tahani honestly thought Kamilah would at least _try._

It’s her wife’s _death_ anniversary, a little tact on her sister’s part would have been appreciated. But no, Tahani’s learnt to be let down by her sister for decades, she’s used to the sinking feeling of disappointment.

But _this,_ this is fucking _low_.

Because it’s not a nice afternoon tea of reconciliation, it’s not a light lunch and hugging and apologies and two sisters realising their differences and growing together. It’s not smiling and maybe wiping tears from the others cheek.

It’s an album release party. Kamilah’s. Ten year. Album. Release. Party.

When the doors open, music blares over Kamilah’s greeting, the other woman’s smiling face blurring Tahani’s vision. She’s brought into a surprising hug, Tahani open mouthed at how she sees hundreds of friends and guests over Kamilah’s shoulder. Strobe lights dance across the mansion, people dancing and partying with drinks in their hands.

Tahani’s arms lay limp at her sides in shock as Kamilah squeezes, pulling back with a smile and holding softly to Tahani’s biceps.

 “I know what you’re thinking, but it’s just a small get together, okay? Enjoy the food, have a drink, let _loose_ Tahani. You deserve it, darling. One of my associates has been dying to meet you, actually, and…”

Kamilah smiles as she speaks, but her words fade to nothing for Tahani as she lets it all sink in. As she _knows_ that smile. It’s the insincere one, coated in fake empathy and ability to even _care._ Tahani open and closes her mouth, walking further into the house and noticing a fucking _ice sculpture of her sister_ in the centre of the room. Even when it’s supposed to be a day about Tahani, it’s about Kamilah.

 “You’ve got to be _kidding_ me.”

Kamilah comes up behind her sister, hand at the small of her back, like nothing’s wrong.

 “Is everything alright?”

Tahani slaps her sister’s arm away, the other woman frowning at the action as Tahani whirls around, hissing under her breath as to not make a scene.

 “I knew you were selfish, but _this_ Kamilah? You’re three apathetic actions away from turning into bloody Hannibal Lector.”

Kamilah raise a perfect eyebrow, almost scoffing. “Serial killer analogy? Oh Tahani, I thought you were better than that.”

Tahani grits her teeth, watching how her sister nonchalantly folds her arms. “Look, it’s so you can relax. Forget about mourning and death and all those unpleasant trivial emotions. Believe it or not, sister, I’m doing this with your best interest in mind.”

Tahani gapes, all that anger and resentment and repressed emotions she buried as a child bubbling up. She misses Eleanor, she _misses her_ and why did she have to die and _why_ isn’t she here right now? Why is it so _hard_ living without her?

Tahani can feel her throat closing up with choked sobs, her eyes watery. Kamilah notices this too, eyes widening this slight amount at the hurt that flashes across Tahani’s face.

 “My…my best _interest!?_ Kamilah, for god’s sake! If you truly had my best interest in mind you wouldn’t plan a fucking _party_ on the anniversary of my wife’s death!”

Silence envelops them, Tahani’s outburst like a record scratch over the hundreds of people around them. Tahani’s mouth shuts with a click, noticing everyone staring at her; with her sister looking towards her with her arms folded and mouth partly open.

But honestly, at this point in time, Tahani doesn’t _care._

 “Oh, _now_ I’m the centre of attention when I’m standing next to my sister? _Now_ you all notice me?!”

The crowd coughs awkwardly, hundreds of pairs of eyes staring back. Tahani grits her teeth, digging her nails into her palm. She makes a beeline for the ice sculpture, Kamilah frowning and following her fast walking with regretful eyes, just realising how hurt her sister is.

 “Tahani, wait, I’m-“

Tahani grabs the rope attached to the sculptures neck, addressing the crowd and her sister. It hurts so _much,_ it all hurts so much and Tahani doesn’t know how to make it stop.

 “ _This_ is what I think of your stupid fucking party, Kamilah.”

She pulls once on the rope with her right arm, frowning when it doesn’t budge. A person in the audience laughs, making Tahani frown harder.

 “ _Move_ you horrible excuse for art-“

 “Tahani, wait-“

She grabs the rope with both hands, ignoring her sister, tugging with a grunt and leaning back with all her weight. All that’s going through her mind is Eleanor, and missing her, and knowing a piece in her heart won’t ever be filled because sometimes it feels like Eleanor took a part of it. But Tahani’s okay with that, she’s been okay with that for _years_ because Eleanor gave back a piece of her own.

And she thinks in that moment, with the rope digging into her hands, that no one should _ever_ have to stand above their soulmates grave and resign to the fact that that piece is gone forever.

Tahani chokes back sobs, tears in her eyes as she grits out.

 “Why. Won’t. This. Stupid. Thing. _Move_.”

_“Tahani!”_

On the last pull, the ice sculpture topples forwards, a shadow casting across Tahani’s body and widened eyes. 

And then, everything’s _black._

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

It happens when Eleanor and Chidi are in line for what the Good Place deems as “Flying Lessons.”

Eleanor feels it on her fourth finger, left hand, a sudden cool touch that has her frowning and bringing her hand to the front of her. And what meets her eyes is the _last_ thing she was expecting, the object glinting in the sunlight and catching her gaze.

She stares open mouthed, blinks once, twice, and slaps Chidi to get his attention.

 “Ow!”

 “Dude, Chidi. _Look.”_

Chidi looks back affronted, clutching his bicep where Eleanor smacked him. “What? Why are you shoving your hand in my face?”

Eleanor rolls her eyes, gesturing with her left hand more vividly.

 “My wedding ring is back! Well, my engagement ring. But still, I didn’t have it when I got here. This is forking weird, man.”

Chidi frowns, looking thoughtful. Janet distantly calls out the instructions when flying. Something about “ _And remember! Keep your mouth shut at all times. Bugs_ do _exist in the Good Place!”_

“Huh, weird.”

Eleanor plays with the gold band, Chidi’s words distant too as the diamond glints in the light. She smiles lightly, because fork, she _missed_ the feeling of it on her finger. Because it was _their_ thing, her and Tahani’s, no one else’s.

And when she realised it was gone when she died? That sucked. Mother forking sucked. What kind of heaven rips something away that’s so special to you? Maybe because it was from earth, either way, it feels good to have it again.

Eleanor shrugs, spinning it around her ring finger once more. “Eh, probably just some weird thing this place does. Oh! Dude, we’re up.”

Chidi’s disturbed expression at the weird occurrence of Eleanor’s ring, disappears _completely_ when Eleanor shoves him forward. Bouncing in place in excitement as Janet hands over the equipment.

 “Uh, is it too late to back out?”

Eleanor rolls her eyes, throwing him his outfit as he clumsily catches it. “Don’t be such a pussy.”

She then lights up, putting the jumpsuit on. “Oh _sweet._ Pussy isn’t considered a curse word!”

Janet chimes in, smiling in that over pleasant way. “Fun fact! A pussy is another term for an infant cat!”

Chidi shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath, and wonders if this is _finally_ the universes payback for the almond milk thing.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

_Welcome to the Good Place! Everything is fine._

Tahani frowns, blinking once at the green words that take over her vision.

She presses her palm to her forehead, a sudden headache overcoming her. Gods, where is she? And why does her head hurt so much? And why is everything so glaringly _white._ The last thing she remembers is Kamilah, and music, and yelling, an ice sculpture falling forwards and then-

_Oh bloody hell, am I dead?_

Panic seizes Tahani, standing up suddenly and running her hands to her torso and around her face. She breathes a sigh of relief, just knowing her head isn’t caved in or her body isn’t squished unrecognisably. Then she realises, _oh, but my real body would be? Like, the physical one. But wait, aren’t I physically here?_

A new headache starts to form, and just as Tahani’s about to call out, to find _anybody,_ she’s startled by a voice. Hand to her chest as she almost screams.

 “Jesus chr-“

 “Nope! just me. Welcome! Come right in, Tahani.”

A taller man stands at a door, white hair and teeth to match, gesturing into an office as he smiles. Tahani frowns, folding her arms and walking through the entrance warily. He leaves the door open, sitting behind his desk and shuffling papers in his hands.

 “I’m sorry, but...but where am I? And how do you know my name?”

He chuckles softly, nodding once and gesturing for Tahani to take a seat. When she does, folding her dress underneath her thighs, she wonders if things like that matter anymore. She’s 90% sure she’s dead, and everything feels so _different_ here and-

 “I’m Michael. And yes, you are dead. You’re in the Good Place!”

Tahani opens her mouth, she was really hoping this was a fever dream. She presses a palm to her chest, trying to swallow her panic. “I’m…I’m _dead?”_

Michael, even after billions of deaths, smiles sympathetically. Making a pyramid with his hands on the top of his desk.

 “Unfortunately, the ice sculpture was enough to kill you. Almost a tonne of frozen water, actually.”

Tahani frowns, and it all settles to her chest and she realises she _died_ in front of her sister, in front of hundreds of people, over something so _stupid_ and avoidable and what would Eleanor think? To know she’s dead? Knowing Tahani’s now in heaven and her wife’s-

Tahani almost collapses with the realisation. Widening her eyes and standing up, hands slamming on Michael’s desk as he jumps in surprise at her urgency.

 “I’m in the Good Place. Like, heaven.”

Michael opens his mouth, furrowing his brow at Tahani’s statement. “Yes?”

Tahani feels her heartbeat leaping out of her chest, hands almost shaking and voice cracking.

 “Please, _please_ tell me Eleanor Shellstrop is here. Well, Al-Jamil-Shellstrop. Blonde. Five foot two. Hates reality tv shows but binge watches the Kardashians when she thinks no one is watching? Dumb but adoring American accent?”

Tahani’s pleading voice cuts through Michael as he opens his mouth in shock, fixing his glasses and laughing gleefully and clapping his hands.

 “Hah! You’re _the_ Tahani!”

Tahani frowns in confusion at that, surely yes, she’s famous, but to reach heaven? Michael notices her puzzled look, elaborating with an amused smile as he goes to explain.

 “I tried setting Eleanor up when she first got here with her soulmate. But she _insisted_ she already had one. Her wife, named Tahani.”

She can’t help it then, tears brim her eyes and Michael’s face falls, standing up in apology. “Oh I am so sorry, was it something I said?”

Tahani shakes her head quickly, laughing and brushing away tears that fell to her cheeks. She…she can’t believe it. Eleanor’s _here._ She’s…she’s here and not far away and she’s reachable and not _gone_ anymore.

  “No, no. I just-I’m terribly sorry, but I have to go now.”

Michael blinks in shock as Tahani turns to the door, but just as she’s about to leave, she turns around sheepishly.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where my wife is, would you? I mean, first time in heaven and all that.”

Michael smiles and nods, snaps his fingers to teleport their bodies, and thinks: _wow, for a demon Michael, you’re doing pretty good._

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

It’s on the third time of Chidi falling out of the sky and landing in the lake does Eleanor cut their flying session short.

She lands on her feet pretty gracefully, laughing as she jogs over to a soaked Chidi who’s hauling his body up the bank. Eleanor snorts, but takes pity on him as she holds her hand out to help him up. Chidi takes it gratefully, groaning as he stands, glasses lost somewhere in the water.

 “That was the _worst._ Humans are _not_ made for aerodynamics and that was just proof of it.”

Eleanor rolls her eyes, flicking off a piece of algae stuck to Chidi’s forehead. “You were up there flapping your arms around like some pigeon, dude. Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t fall with how hard I was laughing.”

Chidi stares back blankly as Eleanor chuckles. “Ha. Ha. Very funny-“

 “No, really, you looked like one of those whacky inflatable tube men.”

Eleanor laughs at her own analogy, holding her stomach as Chidi rolls his eyes. But he stops his next rebuttal, when he looks over Eleanor’s shoulder. Michael is at the top of the hill from the lake, pointing down to the two of them with a tall, elegant woman next to him. Chidi tilts his head, squinting, without his glasses he can vaguely make out her long dark hair, how she hikes her dress up and kicks off her heels.

He then widens his eyes, watching her run down the grassy hill towards Eleanor.

 “Uh, Eleanor?”

 “Like, you know when chickens get their head cut off? Like that.”

Eleanor wipes a fake tear away, putting her hands on her waist and calming down. Chidi opens and closes his mouth, because the woman is almost to them and Eleanor is _still_ listing off analogies of terrible flyers and-

 “Eleanor!”

Eleanor widens her eyes, holding her hands up at his outburst. “Woah, I was kidding!”

Chidi rolls his eyes, grabbing her shoulders and turning her around roughly. And before he can talk, and just before impact, Eleanor widens her eyes in surprise. Because she must be dreaming and this isn’t forking real, this is just some sick trick created by this place. Her throat closes up just before _Tahani_ crashes into her. And she can’t breathe, but her body goes on autopilot as she feels Tahani’s arms around her waist crushing them together, her arms wrapping around her wife’s neck and bringing them ever closer.

 “T-Tahani?”

 “ _Oh my god,_ Eleanor.”

Tahani holds in her sobs, but her eyes burn with tears and she holds Eleanor so close in her arms she’s afraid she’s suffocating her. But Eleanor doesn’t seem to mind, she just wraps her arms tighter around Tahani and she can feel Eleanor’s tears on her skin; hot and wet as Eleanor presses her face into Tahani’s neck.

And Tahani’s crying too, now.

Eleanor pulls back, at a loss for words, and Tahani smiles. Laughing and wiping under her eyes as Eleanor stutters.

“But you-but I-this isn’t real. This _can’t_ be real, this is like, me finally moving on, right? You’re actually an angel who’s gonna take me to the real heaven and this was second tier heaven or some shirt.”

And Tahani laughs, cupping Eleanor’s face and kissing her, cutting her rambling short. She tastes the same, _feels_ the same, and Tahani in that moment almost forgot how much she missed it. How did she ever survive without her?

 “No, darling. I’m real.”

Eleanor breathes out after the kiss, clutching to Tahani’s forearms like she’ll float away, opening her eyes and the realisation of this being real settling in.

 “Holy forking shirt. Babe. _Babe._ I missed you so forking much, you have no idea.”

Tahani laughs again, wiping under her eyes and kissing Eleanor for the second time. She can’t help it, she can’t _help it,_ she missed her so much, too.

 “I missed you too, Eleanor. God,” Her voice breaks then, playing with a strand of Eleanor’s hair. “So much.”

Eleanor crushes their bodies into a hug again; shutting her eyes to stop the tears; rambling as it all dawns on her. How alone Tahani must have been, how she _left her_ and never got her the icecream and how some days being in heaven is worse than whatever hell is.

 “I’m _so sorry_ Tahani. I didn’t see the oncoming truck and it just hit me and I missed you so much and-“

 “Are you _seriously_ apologising for _dying?”_

Eleanor pulls back with a frown. “Uh, duh? Babe, I totally bailed on you. What kind of wife does that?”

Tahani shakes her head, smiling lightly.

 “I love you, do you know that?”

Eleanor softens, like her whole body melted whenever Tahani says that. Fork, she missed that so much. Missed hearing it every day when she and Tahani were aliv-

_Wait._

Eleanor suddenly widens her eyes, everything crashing down onto her. The reality of _how_ she’s currently able to hold and kiss her wife falling onto her. Tahani notices her expression changing, wincing as she sighs.

 “Darling, wait, before you --“

 “You’re…” Eleanor blinks back tears, blowing a breath of air out and shutting her eyes as she collects her thoughts. “Oh my god, you’re dead.”

Tahani sheepishly smiles. “Surprise?”

Eleanor opens her eyes, opening her mouth in shock. “ _Babe,_ this isn’t funny! Wait, why am I being the mature one here? You’re dead. Like, six feet underground dead. Oh my forking god, please don’t tell me you-“

Tahani widens her eyes at the insinuation, rushing to reassure Eleanor, taking her wife’s hands and squeezing softly.

 “No! No no, I didn’t…I didn’t hurt myself darling. I promise.”

Eleanor breathes a sigh of relief, and just when things seem to settle, Eleanor punches Tahani’s arm, the taller woman wincing and rubbing the spot as she recoils.

 “Ow! What on earth was that for?!”

 “For dying! You were supposed to grow old and have a bunch of babies and live a long happy life. You know, all that cheesy stuff.”

Tahani’s eyes soften, bringing Eleanor closer and kissing her softly; wiping away her solemn look. She pulls back, and speaks softly.

 “Even if I didn’t die, all that _cheesy stuff_ I don’t think I could have done, if I’m being honest. You’re the only one I ever wanted to do it with.”

Eleanor blinks away tears that suddenly rush forth, the words hitting her in the chest. She bites her lip, breathing in and feeling like Tahani just told her the origins of the universe.

 “Damn babe, that was the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Before Tahani can reply, a loud sniffling interrupts her. Both women frowning and turning to Chidi who’s nodding with a hand to his mouth; holding in his sobs. Michael’s next to him, biting his knuckle to keep it all in with a hand on his shoulder as he speaks with tears in his eyes.

 “That was just so _beautiful.”_

Eleanor smiles in amusement to Tahani, both woman laughing lightly. “Uh, thanks dude.”

Eleanor and Tahani’s hands are clasped between them, their bodies seeming to unknowingly want to be close. And before Tahani can ask who the other guy is; Michael quickly snaps both he and Chidi away, Tahani shaking her head.

 “Is heaven supposed to be so odd?”

Eleanor leans up, kisses Tahani’s cheek, and starts walking them up the hill, the taller woman smiling at the action. She realises they can do that whenever they want now, not even death can get in between them.

 “Yep. Welcome to heaven, wifey.”

Tahani rolls her eyes. “I was hoping death knocked some sense into you. _Wifey_ with you and I is never going to be a thing, darling.”  
  
Eleanor shrugs, because _one day_ the nickname is gonna stick. But one thing _is_ on Eleanor’s mind though, as they now walk on the footpath with Tahani still taller than her without heels; one thing glaring Eleanor in the face.

 “Wait, how did you die?”

Tahani sighs, wrapping her arm around Eleanor’s waist as they walk. Eleanor melts into the touch, she kind of never wants Tahani to stop touching her.

 “As far as I can tell, and remember, an…ice sculpture of Kamilah crushed me to death as I was trying to tear it down.”

Eleanor breathes out, shaking her head in awe as she looks up to her wife.

 “Damn, I married the most amazing woman.”

 Tahani blushes softly, smiling and rolling her eyes as she speaks.  
  
 “Really, not the most elegant way to go but,” And Tahani suddenly stops them in the middle of the walkway, pulling Eleanor to her front and kissing her softly; feeling how the smaller woman smiles against the kiss; letting a surprised noise out at the action. Tahani pulls back, speaking a breath away.

 “I’m here now. And we have the rest of eternity together, don’t we?”

And Eleanor breathes out, stars in her eyes as she looks to Tahani’s soft smile. She doesn’t answer, instead, she pulls Tahani down to her lips again; conveying the words this way because saying it out loud just won’t have the same effect.

 _Yeah_ , Eleanor thinks, feeling Tahani smile against the press of their lips.

_Eternity sounds good._

 

_-_

 

 


End file.
